January 2012
armsoftheocean:
the reason why the world isn’t...
You and I Both - Jason Mraz
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Friend1: "Everybody shut up." *picks up phone* "Hey mom."
Friend2: "Come back to bed"
Friend3: *Various sex noises*
Friend4: "Put your pants back on"
Friend5: "PASS THE WEED"
The Rolling Stones - Paint It Black
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December 2011
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when i stub my toe or something i always shout “FUCK ME!”
because i want everyone to know that i may be hurt, but i’m still single
everyone: it's just a book
you: YOU KNOW NOTHING
Reblog if you are someone who understands the need...
More Laughs Here.
Ladies & Gentlemen, I give you, the 2012...
Michelle Bachmann: "Don’t misunderstand. I am not here bashing people who are homosexuals, who are lesbians, who are bisexual, who are transgender. We need to have profound compassion for people who are dealing with the very real issue of sexual dysfunction in their life and sexual identity disorders.” (2004)
Ron Paul: "The rate of AIDS infection is on the increase again. From the gay point of view, the reasons seem quite sensible. First, these men don't really see a reason to live past their fifties. They are not married, they have no children, and their lives are centered on new sexual partners... because sex is the center of their lives, they want it to be as pleasurable as possible, which means unprotected sex. Third, they enjoy the attention & pity that comes with being sick." (1995 in a newsletter)
Rick Perry: "I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a Christian, but you don't need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there's something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school. " (2011 in a campaign ad)
Mitt Romney: "I should tell my story. I'm also unemployed." (2011 while speaking to unemployed people in Florida. Romney's net worth is over $200 million.)
Newt Gingrich: "She's not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of the President. And besides, she has cancer." (1994, about his first wife)
Rick Santorum: "Is anyone saying same-sex couples can’t love each other? I love my children. I love my friends, my brother. Heck, I even love my mother-in-law. Should we call these relationships marriage, too?" (2008)
Michelle Bachmann: "Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas." (2009 during a debate)
Mitt Romney: "PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air." (2006, when questioned about driving 12 hours with his dog in a cage strapped to the top of his car)
So I bought a new computer because my other computer broke so ill be on that soon. God I’m so irritated with that. I went in thinking it was going to cost me 200 dollars or something but the guy told me I’d have to send it to the mainland and it would then cost me over 900 dollars. So it was cheaper to buy a new computer and I did.
Wow I really wish I could unfollow people on this because god Damn the complaining is just intense. And its over nothing…… Christ almighty there are things to be happy about in the universe… Calm the fuck down.
Happy holidays, guys!!!
I didn’t get a chance to wish you all a merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate today because we were cooking all day but hope it was awesome!!!
“I’ll use oat flour!” I said…
“I’ll just test it to see if its okay!” I said.
And now I cant stop sneezing and my eyes won’t stop watering….. Stupid stupid Stupid….
Anyone: Hey you wanna narrat--
Morgan Freeman: YES
I don’t even know what’s keeping me from straight punching my mom in the face. She’s so irritating all the time with her nagging and distrustful comments. What the fuck am I supposed to do tomorrow?
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rewindingsteps replied to your post: ‘Twas the night before Christmas eve and Corrina didn’t get all of her christmas shopping done so she’s just going to wing it.
It’s so nice that you have internet now! My dashboard is happy (:
Awww Thank you!
Yes it’s so nice having internet…. a part of me was crying everytime I couldn’t get on tumblr after a bad day.
thisisavictory replied to your post: thisisavictory replied to your post: You know what…
One day you’re just going to be chilling, you’ll look down and be like “Oh shit, there’s a head coming out of my vag!” I call it.
wouldn’t that be interesting
Well if that ever happens I’ll name the baby Taryncalledit (boy or girl see if I care)
thisisavictory replied to your post: You know what I miss? Wasabi ice cream. Cold…
Are you sure you’re not pregnant?
Last time I checked…
I mean not that i’ve been checking…
holy shit what if I show up on that program “I didn’t know I was pregnant”
I mean I’m not pregnant… I haven’t had sex in about two years.
but what if oh my god
'Twas the night before Christmas eve and Corrina...
So i’m going to continue watching The Rite and questioning why exactly I’m up this late.
Weeee
You know what I miss?
Wasabi ice cream.
Cold stone used to have it.
and I remember when I first went into cold stone I saw that flavor and I was just like
THEY KNOW
Sometimes I say things about food that make me wonder if I’m pregnant and then I’m like oh wait I’ve never had sex with a cismale before. My bad.
And then I continue craving the strangest foods.
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I feel like ramen noodles.
With like shoyu and wasabi and cheese
what the hell am I talking about
